Shakespeare exam tomorrow. I can't seem to study. Today I had the flu. But I don't think it was the real flu, it was just a terrible 9 hours where I couldn't focus and thought I might pass out. The fatigue took over, which was weird because I've gotten enough sleep the last few days. I think it was some kind of anxiety attack. Like...a slow burn or something. I'm worrying about so many things. And I think my health is just off kilter lately anyway. Plus I'm not eating right. Or exercising. My classes might finally stop killing me after this exam tomorrow. And my auditions are Saturday, which is like ten times scarier than going to an audition.
I might have a little faith in myself as a director though. I think I might actually have an authoritative bone in my body. That thought calms me down a little. Once I have a cast, I will probably calm down even more.
24 February 2009
16 February 2009
A Rough Summary of the Upcoming Week, Starting at This Moment
1. Workshop stories.
2. Get 8 beautiful hours of sleep, probably interrupted by the stifling heat in my apartment and/or extreme feelings of stress.
3. Get story workshopped in class and feel horrible about myself afterwards because the class will inevitably say that the story is "not about anything," or is "cliche and non believable," or that it reads like a play.
4. Listen to remaining nutri sci lectures (or majority thereof) while trying to write restoration paper, therefore missing all the information in the nutri sci lectures and being no better off than when I started.
5. Curse my life at 5 am and vow never to do something like this again. This one is a weekly occurrence.
6. Skip class, hand in paper in next class, and cram for nutri sci.
7. Take nutri sci exam, filling in lots of pretty patterns on the scantron and guessing C when in doubt (on half to 3/4 of the questions).
8. Play hearts on the computer until Scrubs comes on, then watch an hour of Scrubs and whatever dumb show comes on after it. This one is a weekly occurrence.
9. Scramble to read the last act of Much Ado About Nothing and the last four and a half acts of Two Gents of Verona, turning to spark notes less than halfway through.
10. Do scansion and paraphrase homework, wishing I had more energy to put into it.
11. Lunch, class, coffee (hopefully the last of the three will take less than four hours this time).
12. Pretend to read restoration plays for 3 hours before rehearsal. Then realize that in that time I could have read the entire play, and get very upset.
13. Go to rehearsal, get home at 11:30 and sit down to read the whole five acts of the play I was supposed to have read for Tuesday. This one is a weekly occurrence.
14. Thursday classes, after which I will suddenly realize that my concept meeting is on Sunday and I haven't picked up Asymmetry in a week. Panic will ensue.
15. Improv practice! This will be the high point of the week.
16. Frantically try to work on Asymmetry, but by this point will be so burnt out that I will fall asleep as soon as I pick up the play. This is where the downward spiral of productivity begins.
17. This takes me to Friday, when Jenny is coming to visit and perhaps I will relax, or pretend to relax while stress and anxiety brew in my general torso and stomach region. This is the constant state of things for the semester.
18. Repeat for the next thirteen weeks.
2. Get 8 beautiful hours of sleep, probably interrupted by the stifling heat in my apartment and/or extreme feelings of stress.
3. Get story workshopped in class and feel horrible about myself afterwards because the class will inevitably say that the story is "not about anything," or is "cliche and non believable," or that it reads like a play.
4. Listen to remaining nutri sci lectures (or majority thereof) while trying to write restoration paper, therefore missing all the information in the nutri sci lectures and being no better off than when I started.
5. Curse my life at 5 am and vow never to do something like this again. This one is a weekly occurrence.
6. Skip class, hand in paper in next class, and cram for nutri sci.
7. Take nutri sci exam, filling in lots of pretty patterns on the scantron and guessing C when in doubt (on half to 3/4 of the questions).
8. Play hearts on the computer until Scrubs comes on, then watch an hour of Scrubs and whatever dumb show comes on after it. This one is a weekly occurrence.
9. Scramble to read the last act of Much Ado About Nothing and the last four and a half acts of Two Gents of Verona, turning to spark notes less than halfway through.
10. Do scansion and paraphrase homework, wishing I had more energy to put into it.
11. Lunch, class, coffee (hopefully the last of the three will take less than four hours this time).
12. Pretend to read restoration plays for 3 hours before rehearsal. Then realize that in that time I could have read the entire play, and get very upset.
13. Go to rehearsal, get home at 11:30 and sit down to read the whole five acts of the play I was supposed to have read for Tuesday. This one is a weekly occurrence.
14. Thursday classes, after which I will suddenly realize that my concept meeting is on Sunday and I haven't picked up Asymmetry in a week. Panic will ensue.
15. Improv practice! This will be the high point of the week.
16. Frantically try to work on Asymmetry, but by this point will be so burnt out that I will fall asleep as soon as I pick up the play. This is where the downward spiral of productivity begins.
17. This takes me to Friday, when Jenny is coming to visit and perhaps I will relax, or pretend to relax while stress and anxiety brew in my general torso and stomach region. This is the constant state of things for the semester.
18. Repeat for the next thirteen weeks.
08 February 2009
Being Swallowed Whole by the Semester?
I have a story due tomorrow for my workshop. I've written just over 2 pgs. While there's no page minimum for individual stories, over the span of 2 stories we must write 25 pages. That's fine, but the people who handed in stories last week set the bar way too high by writing 12, 16, and 23 page stories. Really? Is that necessary?? Now I'm just going to look bad even if I manage the 10 pages that I would consider to be a great accomplishment. Too much pressure. I'm not sure why I signed up for this class.
That is only the beginning of the endless amount of work I have to do in the next week and a half. AND there's all this beautiful springlike weather that I want to enjoy! The world is an evil place.
That is only the beginning of the endless amount of work I have to do in the next week and a half. AND there's all this beautiful springlike weather that I want to enjoy! The world is an evil place.
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