I don't play to lose, but I don't play to win either

Last night a bunch of us got together to watch Scrubs (the new season is really good by the way, despite the network change), and then played a game of Risk. I worked furiously to conquer Europe, and had enough of a stronghold is Asia that I could feasibly take that over too, but as soon as I got Europe I didn't want anything else. I was content to eat cheese and go to art museums, and didn't care if I won the game or not. I realized then, that I don't care if I'm in first place, as long as I'm not in last place. It was an interesting thing to discover.

This week is glorious. I'm relaxed and productive at the same time, and in 2 days I'll be en route to Florida for the beauty that is tour. Two of our counterparts at the U of I will be sticking around for the first couple days of our tour because of a transportation issue--I'm really excited to hang out with them and have some inter-Titanic bonding. I need to go get a book to read by the pool...I doubt I'll have much luck finding the Year of Living Biblically at Avol's, and it's too late to order it on Amazon :( Perhaps some more Vonnegut. It is always more Vonnegut...

Uncluttered

Madison is so quiet these days. There's something vast and lazy about it that makes me feel relaxed. Last night I went to see Yesman, which is a worthwhile movie, but the moment where I (loudly) exploded a bag of Reese's Pieces all over the floor just as the movie was starting might have been the funniest part. Today has been lazy. I saw Amelia, and I finally have a few groceries. There's hardly anybody in town, but I don't care. I'm not feeling very social. I'm going to clean my bedroom this week, and bake cookies, and maybe write a little. I'm at peace. It's great.

All of a sudden all these people have blogs!

I feel I ought to write something. Mostly because it's 1 am and I have nothing else to do.

I am thinking about cringing. Our entire lives are devoted to doing and thinking things that will leave our future self cringing at the thought of how stupid we used to be. I used to keep copious journals. They are just lists of things to cringe at. Freshman year, I cringed at who I was at the beginning of high school. Now I cringe at myself freshman year. I wonder what the shelf life is of a version of oneself. I think it changes throughout life. Right now in my life, it's probably a year and a half to two years. I hope the shelf life gets longer as you get older.

I am going to look back on this in another year or two and cringe.

So much for goals

I think I'm beyond the point of tired. That's a good sign. However, I have underestimated how much time this project will take. I can't believe some people are doing this in one night. I know I'm a procrastinator, but even I'm impressed.

Need to:
Put the pictures on the storyboard
Write the concept paper

Headache: None. I guess I've been staring at the screen so long I'm numb to it.

Goal bedtime: 5:30? Ouch...

Eyelids are drooping

My standards for quality are getting much lower as the night goes on. Better than usual, when I have no standard for quality in the first place.

Need to:
Title the last 9 scenes
Storyboard
Write concept paper

Headache: Very slight

Goal bedtime: 4:45

Tick Tock

Come on tea, do your stuff. I need to wake up. I just want this project to be done. In 11 hours the semester will be over. Over!

Need to:
Finish titling scenes
Make storyboards
Write concept paper

Headache: slight to mild

Goal bedtime: 4:30

Exorcising My Bad Mood

I've been angry/annoyed/frustrated/generally negative for the majority of the last 3 or 4 days. It's time to do something else. I will feel more stable soon. I'll meet with my professor tomorrow morning and feel less lost with this project. I'll sign my lease. I'll finish the project. I'm down to just one class left to take care of. The hardest one, obviously. I'm drowning in verbs and storyboards and google image searches and director's visions. In a day and a half it will be out of my hands... The apartment too. The musical review that I was "stage managing" is now officially passed off to other people. And on Friday at 12:55, maybe I will be a happy person again? That will be so nice.